Friday, 9 November 2012

How much harder it could be?

This is hard. Losing a baby is hard, really damn hard.

I do know that it could be harder though. I can't bear to think about how hard it must be to lose a child who has already lived in the word. To give birth to a stillborn baby.

Or even to lose a child before having one. If there has been one thing that's held me together through all of this, it is that as hard as it is, I do know that my body can carry a child to term.

If not for that, I know I would be questioning my body. I would be doubting my ability to be a mother in the most basic sense.

So I guess that's just another way my daughter is awesome. Just by her being here, she makes this miscarriage only about itself.

It is tragic. It is heartbreaking. But it is itself, it is no more. It's no bigger than that. My body didn't fail. The pregnancy did, but that is all. That's bad enough, but at least it's no more.

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