Privilege. Mine.

One of the most fascinating, and resonating things I learned about during the course of gaining my Sociology degree, was about the concept of privilege.

Privilege is (dictionary definition):
A special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to one person or group of people.

 When applied to structures in society, it means that some groups are given advantages on the basis of various arbitrary (i.e. unrelated to merit) conditions. The most common types of privilege that are discussed are white privilege and male privilege. But privilege exists in many different forms. And one of the key things about privilege is that people who have it fail to see what unearned advantages they have in society, believing that they have gotten where they are purely by hard work. The barriers to others are invisible, and the victims are blamed instead of the structures being challenged.

I will rant and rave and complain and moan about privilege from time to time, but I think that it's important that I recognise the ways in which I am privileged, as well as the ways in which I am disadvantaged.

I do not see these things as inherently good. When I say that I am privileged to be white, I don't mean that I think it is better to be white than to be black (or any other colour or ethnicity). Far from it - I am a passionate believer in equality. All that I am saying is that I realise that being white gives me certain advantages, since the society I live in is racist in various overt and covert ways.

I am privileged because I am white. My skin colour doesn't automatically make people think I am a thief when I walk into a shop, an illegal immigrant when I sit on a bus, a prostitute when I get into a car (all things I have heard of happening anecdotally). I can open a newspaper or a magazine and be confident that I will see people of my ethnicity depicted in positive as well as negative ways. These are just a few of the ways in which being white gives me a position of privilege in modern Irish society. I am also privileged not to be a Traveller, in which case I would be thought of as stupid and dirty and a drain on society.

I am privileged because I am straight. If I fall in love I can marry the person I love, as it would be (and in fact was) a heterosexual marriage: I can celebrate my love for a partner without being called dirty or sinful or disgusting or a multitude of worse words. I can walk down the street holding hands with or kissing a partner without it making me fearful for my safety. I can turn on the television or read a book and see people in relationships like mine depicted as normal. I don't get regularly confronted with polls on other people's opinions, who are completely unaffected by my decisions and life choices, as to whether I should have equal rights.

I am privileged because I am cisgendered. The way I feel about my body is depicted in society and media as the norm. I don't have to go seeking obscure blogs and websites in order to find others who feel the way I do about the body I was born with. I don't have to deal with people telling me I am a freak or a weirdo, or telling me how I should feel about my body and what I should or should not be allowed to do with it. I don't have the very essence of who I am criticised or lampooned on a regular basis.

I am privileged because I am able-bodied. I can enter shops without a second thought, I can watch a film without having any difficulty, I don't have people look down on me and think I am in some way less than human or less than them because my body or brain is different.

I am privileged because I live in a country that has a safety net. I am not currently working, I have a 2 year old and a baby on the way and the maintenance my ex gives me isn't enough to cover basic living expenses - nowhere near in fact. However, I get an allowance from the state which does cover those basic expenses like food, heat and clothing. If I manage my money well, I may even be able to put some aside from time to time. I did so in the past and this meant that when I had to suddenly and abruptly leave my husband, I was able to do so. I could pay a deposit to rent a new house within days of leaving.

Following on from the previous point, I am privileged to live in a country that allows me as a woman certain rights, such as holding a separate bank account from that of my husband - it allowed me to squirrel some money away, though I didn't expect to need to use it to leave him I was very, very glad to have it when that was the way things turned.I am privileged to live in a Western World country, where finding a new place to live even for a woman in desperate circumstances is as simple as loading a smartphone app and making a few phone calls. Where I am not, as a newly single mother, looked upon with suspicion and revulsion (in general).

I am privileged to live in a country that has freedom of speech. I can complain about the ways in which privilege affects me negatively (oh, and I will!) without fear of being locked up. I am free to own a computer and access the internet and use it to seek and share information. I am privileged to be able and allowed to read and write; ditto for driving.

I am privileged to live in a democracy. I have the right to vote, or the right to abstain from voting. I will not be jailed or killed for going against the majority.



That's all I can think of for now! Of course there are probably other ways in which I am privileged - feel free to use the comments to share them with me if you think of any, or to talk about ways in which you too are privileged. We are all quick to see how disadvantaged we are, but it is good for each of us to check our own privileged from time to time as well, especially if we like to argue that others should do so.

Happiness?

I found it very interesting to read recently that a study by San Francisco State University has found that spending money on life experiences makes us happier than buying stuff (can't find a link to the study itself, just this report on it).

Fascinating stuff. Common sense, in some ways. I mean, in twenty years, are we going to think back on that brilliant holiday, or how awesome that TV, that was at the time top notch, was?

Sure, some stuff is great. I do love my TV shows, but I don't need a massive LED screen that takes up half my sitting room to watch them on. I love my books, but there are only a handful (ok, several armfuls) that I would genuinely feel sad if I no longer hand, and they're mostly books that have some sentimental value for me.

Holidays, dinner parties, events where we can meet new people and perhaps make new friends - they are truly special. Sights that stick with us for the rest of our lives, be they local or far across the world from home. Education, to me at least, is also a life experience worth spending money on. Learning and the pursuit of knowledge are precious to me.

I miss having a car, but it is only a small part to do with the car itself (I had a sporty Fiat Punto). Mostly, I miss that feeling of being able to get in the car and drive, to be able to go anywhere. Bear in mind that I live in Donegal, which is poorly served by public transport, so a car is more of an essential than an optional item really, though I am coping without. But ultimately the car relates to experiences. It brings me to see friends and family. It brings me to the beach, the forests, the parks. It brings my daughter on playdates and to the zoo and all the exciting places that she loves to experience. 

What makes you happy - are there material things you couldn't be without? What are your favourite experiences? If you won the lotto, what would you spend the money on that you think would make you happier, or that you would enjoy? What do you save money for?

Justice?

Yesterday a man who pleaded guilty - admitted - to raping his daughter regularly over a ten year period walked out of court, free pending an appeal. He was sentenced to twelve years, but the final nine were suspended, and for the first three he was remanded on continuing bail - basically enabling him to walk out of court.
More details of the specifics of the case at these links:
Independent
Irish Times



His daughter waived her right to anonymity in this case so that he could be named and shamed - he is Patrick O'Brien, age 72. He suffers from a "serious medical condition" - but so what?


His victim, the man's own daughter, will never be able to forget the horrific crime he committed. However, she had the right to feel that some semblance of justice would be done. He wasn't old when he first committed the crime. He wasn't sick. So what if he is now? If his crime is worthy of a prison sentence then it is worthy of a prison sentence.

This is just the latest in a long string of cases of leniency meted out to perpetrators of rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse and incest by "Justice" Paul Carney. For example, the time he freed the attacker, leading his victim to have to travel home on the same train as him.  Or the time he forced a victim to stand in front of the men she accused of gang raping her and point at them, leading her to try to take her own life. Or the time he said that the crime merited a sentence of nine years, but on account of the perpetrator's good employment record and lack of other convictions, he suspended half of it.

Carney has a bad record when it comes to sex crimes, but he isn't the only judge in the country who does - look at the examples from last year of a man sentenced to six years with the final FIVE AND A HALF suspended as well as being ordered to pay compensation to his victim - paying her for sex which she did not consent to, essentially.  And the perpetrator who offered compensation to his victims.

We need to look at this as a society - why are sexual offences not considered serious enough to merit mandatory minimum sentencing? What should it matter if a perpetrator is now old and decrepit - he once wielded the power to commit the crime, and that is what should be taken into account. Who cares if he has no other convictions? Once is enough to affect a victim's life forever, and at least once a week as happened in this case was certainly enough to ruin her childhood. Risk of reoffending of course should be taken into consideration - but just because a rapist or abuser is old and decrepit now doesn't mean that he wasn't ever a risk, or that he didn't commit other offences while still able-bodied.

There is a facebook page Justice for Fiona Doyle where efforts to get justice in her case are being concentrated and publicised. There is also a petition you can sign.

Please do something - even just share the stories above on facebook or twitter, or in conversation in daily life. So many women are victims of some form of sexual assault during their lives. We have to change this culture a little at a time - from the top down, and the bottom up. Every action counts.

A new word

I learned a new word recently. Not my two year old (she learns new words every day!). I did.

Cis.

As in, I am a cisgendered female. Which means I identify as a female, and am biologically a female. So what, you might think - so did I for half a second when I initially read the word.

Then I realised. It is the opposite of transgendered, to be biologically one but identify as the other.

If there is no word for "the opposite of transgendered" the default word might be "Normal". So you have "trans" people, and "normal" people. That's not so nice territory, as when you switch it around, the opposite of "normal" is "abnormal".

So I am quite happy to say that I am a cisgendered female, and I am delighted that a word exists to describe it, even if I am slightly surprised that I hadn't heard/read it before in all my time studying sociology.

I Miss Study!!!

I completed my sociology degree last May and I miss study so much! (Graduation in a couple of days - looking forward to my cap'n'gown moment!) It took me five years to complete my degree via distance education.

If I had the money I would continue straight away. As it stands I'll probably have to save or hope that I can find a research scholarship/paid PhD that will allow me to work from home at least some of the time.

In the meantime, I found this site: Coursera
It offers free courses, and is affiliated with some really big universities across the globe. The courses are certified but not accredited (well, they are free).

I've signed up for one already! If nothing else it will keep my brain sharp and allow me to continue posting awesome blog posts (my blog posts are awesome, right???)