Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Break up songs...

My break up music is rooted in the 1990s. Probably because it was the 90s last time I actually broke up with someone...well, actually I think it was January 2000. But close enough!

Now that I finally have all my stuff out of the house, I feel like I've closed a door on things a bit and can actually start to deal with the fact that a 12.5 year relationship has ended. My marriage has fallen apart.

I'm angry, but I'm also sad. There were dreams of a future that have been torn away from me. Hopes and expectations left to languish. I have to say goodbye not just to the man I have loved for more than a third of my life, but to the person I was when I was with him. To my role as wife, as partner. To the life that I had, that we shared.

My emotions are suitably mixed around it. The anger is quite well taken care of my this Alanis Morrissette classic, about a cheating ex - though my ex didn't exactly cheat on me, the fury she feels and feeds into her music here captures a lot of what I'm feeling.

Continuing the theme of anger, here is the only non-90s song to feature in this playlist, so far - So What by Pink, about a bad breakup. She's strong and independent or at least that's what she's showing the world!

And still feeling angry, this was recommended to me by my sister who is a huge Fiona Apple fan:

And as I passed through all the anger and embraced it and rocked out to it, so it was that I came to feel sad. Really bloody sad. And for the first time I properly acknowledged that.

These were both my breakup songs in the 90s, not that I had a lot of relationships - not long term ones anyway - but they did see me through a couple of sad man-related occasions.

No Doubt - Don't Speak:

And Hello (Turn Your Radio On) by Shakespeare Sister. Don't think this is about a breakup. Actually I have no idea what it's about, but it was played on repeat for at least a day when I broke up with a boyfriend of 6 weeks back in the summer of '99, so to me it's a breakup song.

And finally, to finish - a song about looking forward. I got my hair done today, a new look for a new life! The fabulous Ella Fitzgerald's version of I'm Gonna Wash that Man Right out of my Hair. Actually, this isn't a 90s song either - it's way older, and it sure has stood the test of time!

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